1.  “Zoom Zoom Zoom” -Mazda

2.  “I’m Loving it” – McDonald’s

3. “Cuckoo for Coco Pops” – Coco Puffs

4. “A mars a day helps you work rest and play” – Mars

5. “Don’t live a little, live a lotto” - Lotto

6. “Intel inside” – Intel

7. “Fluent in finance” - Barclays

8. “I’d rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity” – Stella Artois

9. “True.” – Budweiser

10. “Thank Crunchie it’s Friday” – Crunchie

1.  You still live in your mama’s basement

Big turn off, I mean who isn’t turned on by a strong independent man or woman; – at least knowing you won’t have to foot their bill out of necessity each and every time is a relief for anyone.

2.  You’re just too desperate

Desperation is the killer of any potential relationship. I mean as humans we usually value the things we had to work really hard to get! If it’s handed to us on a silver platter, we are highly unlikely to value it in the long run…Who doesn’t like a challenge- not to mention the victory afterwards!

3. You’re too easy

Again  mystery is a great thing and being so easy may seem like a good idea at the time, but in one month or so,it will hardly ever translate into a meaningful relationship, but rather a string of flings one after the other.- Go for it if you’re into that kind of thing.

4. You are socially awkward in every which way

It’s hard to get a date or even establish a relationship when you’re so awkward it’s painful to watch and one has to turn away. Knowing how  to approach and talk to people is a great way to get some very important social skills.

5. Personal hygiene is not up to par

Who wants to be near someone that stinks of B. O or whatever it is all the time. Chances are if you can’t find some body wash or a bar of soap, – or you prefer to shower once in a blue moon, you don’t floss your teeth…or brush them for that matter;- no one is going to  approach!  If you smell bad, it’s never pleasant…or attractive!

6. You’d rather spend time online than building relationships

Computer geeks and workaholics be warned! You might have very important projects or be amidst building the greatest game that will make World of War craft seem like tic tac toe, the fact still remains that you need to get out there and establish meaningful  relationships…with other human beings.

7. You spend too much time buried in books

If you’re a college student, you know what I am talking about! It’s all about balance not extremes. Yes you might have chemistry lab exams, physics midterms and English essays and term papers to write all in the span of one week, -but who’s going to keep you warm?

8. You’re just difficult to please!

If you’re closed off, uptight and condescending, nobody wants to feel as if they are constantly being tested and constantly failing miserably! People like to feel appreciated and valued …You’ll surely miss out on a lot of great people by acting like a sour lemon all the time!

9. You have too much baggage

No one want to be caught up always playing Dr. Phil to all your childhood, teenage and adult issues that have now tripled in severity! People want to be around you because you relax them, keep your issues with your psychologist!

10. They are not just that into you

It’s simple truth that the people you may be pursuing are simply Just Not That Into You! That means they are not attracted, not interested and you may work on it for years but it WILL NEVER HAPPEN! it’s time to move on, stop wasting your breath. Simple as that.

1. Kate moss

Leader of the “No Carbs” allowed exclusive. It’s cigarettes and coffee for this supermodel.

2. Zoe Saldana

Maybe the pressure to make avatar the best movie in 10 years really got to this toothpick, I’d say she’s even avoided the salads all together.

3. Chanel Iman

Perhaps Chanel Iman went too far with the whole “fashion models are not supposed to eat any food”…or maybe she’s been taking “food substitute 101″ from Amy winehouse!

4. Amy Winehouse

Crack and Methadone is her food of choice – perhaps she thinks they are just more intense vitamin substitutes !

5. Lara Flynn Boyle

A skeleton in the making, a bikini accompanied with an inverted & concave stomach is in style now! wow

6. Nicole Richie

I guess she grew tired of being Paris Hilton’s chubby little friend on The Simple Life days, this girl is defintely never going back. Sorry Taco bell, you’ve lost a devoted customer for life.

7. Rachel Zoe

A girl who believes cigarettes are the perfect food substitute…When one starts to resemble an alien life form…One or two sandwiches wouldn’t hurt!

8. Tara Reid

This D list girl would rather starve, drink coffee book an appointment with a plastic surgeon and undergo some more lipo…. than eat a sandwich any day!

9.  Jennifer Connelly

A real example of a girl that chose to skip “food 101 ” class as of recent… it’s salas & diet  soda from hereon.

10. Keira Knightley

Although she’s claimed she’s “just naturally that way”…Just one sandwich wouldn’t hurt…just saying!

1. Brad Pitt

Angelina’s baby daddy definitely has his hands full, the only difference is,…he looks really good doing it!

2. Johnny Depp

He’s made People’s sexiest man I’m sure not many would turn this man down  for People’s sexiest dad, …the man’s got serious swagger &  substance .

3. Gavin Rosedale

Hmmm….a man who can carry a diaper bag and yet look so masculine and sexy all at the same time!

4. Will Smith

Superhero box office magic and dotting dad, I mean who wasn’t moved by the unpretentious and 100% real bond between him and his real son in The Pursuit of Happiness!

5.  Matthew McConaughey

From wild frat boy wannabe playing bongos naked & partying with college coeds to playing daddy day care…smart moves!

6. Hugh Jackman

Wolverine is one charming man…Seriously how many dads do you know who are this serious and this ripped!

7. Patrick Dempsey

Committed father and husband, he loves to support good causes by contributing to charity…thus really owning up to the title “Mcdreamy” A sure fantasy for many women no doubt.

8. Gabrielle Aubrey

Supermodel daddy to one of Hollywood’s cutest cherubs…Any dad with this much swagger sex appeal deserves a few covers on GQ magazine!

9. David Beckham

Some men just get better with age or what;…One hot soccer dad, – it’s all good because this one doesn’t drive a minivan!

10. Mark Wahlberg

From exploited CK model and bad ass to dotting daddy…not too shabby a change!

1. Tiger Woods

From squeaky clean to ultimate Public Relations nightmare! This cheater wears the crown for 2009 most notorious & extravagant cheater. From a  pornstar to escorts & other fame whores,- the allegations from his uncountable mistresses are endless & contain some form of  solid evidence…Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!

2. Kobe Bryant

Cheating with the Hotel concierge as well as another woman,- but buying his wife a $4 million dollar ring and getting her name tattooed on his shoulder saved his marriage,…different strokes for different folks.

3. Bill Clinton

Super Bad ass president, cheated on his  wifey Hillary Clinton with stacked and curvaceous  intern Monica Lewinsky. Then in front of millions of viewers went on to say,  “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”…yah right and I am Audrey Hepburn!

4. Brad Pitt

Sneaking around with Angelina, hiding out after the last take and having hot wild sex for days behind his then wife Jennifer Aniston’s back.  I guess Mr. and Mrs. Smith were not just another bored married couple with a non existent sex life!

5. Eliot Spritzer (ex governor)

The ex New York governor cheated on his wife with call girl, Ashley Alexandra Dupre. This governor had a thing for $1000/ hour prostitutes. He should have just focused on bringing Wall Street white-collar criminals to justice…Yet another prominent and promising politician tainted because he just couldn’t keep it in his pants!

6. Prince Charles

Cheating on Princess Diana with Camilla The Dutchess of Cornwall;- a woman old enough to pass for his aunt! At least he’s in a different pack, preferring older women… -oh he also  married her!

7. David Letterman

With a new baby at home, I guess the cookie factory was temporarily  closed for a while.- Or maybe he was testing out his newly fixed heart!

8. Morgan Freeman

Cheated on his wife of 24 years with another woman, leading to the discovery of his past 10 year affair with his then underage stepdaughter.

9. Leann Rimes

Openly cheating on husband Dean Shermet, -perhaps it was her way of letting him know “I make more money than you, so I can do whatever you want.”

10. John Edwards

From college sweethearts, surviving law school, the death of a son, John still went on to cheat on his then cancer stricken wife, -to add insult to injury, the former US senator from North Carolina fathered a love child with campaign staffer Rielle Hunter- did I mention while his wife had cancer!

1. Anna Nicole Smith

She was 26 when she got hitched to an 89 year old and very elderly  J Howard. Marshall… You do the math and figure out if their  63 year old age difference can be attributed to love alone!

2. Heather Mills

Walking away with $50 million from Paul McCartney,… hmmm I bet she googled his net worth before saying I do!

3. Nicole Brown Simpson

According to her friends from high school, apparently Nicole Simpson always wanted to marry nothing less than a “rich man”, I guess her wish came true with O.J. Simpson; and then some…

4. Amy Irving

From mediocre actress to milking Steven Spielberg for an estimated $100 million in a divorce settlement! hmmm I guess sleeping with the biggest director translated into set for life… I don’t know you tell me!

5. Kevin Federline

Backup dancer, looking for a way out? This man was probably contemplating which soup kitchen to lineup for when Brittney Spears decided to fall “in love” and marry his broke ass! A true and obvious golddigger.

6.  Ivana Trump

Socialite wannabe who finally got her wish through the Doanald! And walked away with assets, over $32 million in settlement and assets to boot!

7.  Melania Knauss

Let’s just assume she loves Donald Trump’s hair for what is is…A potential multimillion dollar settlement in waiting perhaps! That’s after she stays with him for the required amount of time and bears him 3 more children…

8.  Anne Hathaway

When you’re just getting used to luxury yatch vacations in Southern France, and all of a sudden the “love of your life” writes a bouncing check…Then you bail, hmmm…actions speak louder than words!

10. Debbie Rowe

A little bird whispered in Debbies ear that a certain King of Pop might have a networth of $500 million, where there’s a will, there’s a Debbie!…Sadly her plan to have 3 kids and clean house with the divorce were not a total success.

1. Stripper/ Exotic Dancer

If you’re okay with money thrown at you, the late night hours good luck playing rest catch-up for the months!…oh by the way, self respect not necessary or required for this job opening!- If friends come in and discover your place of work!- ah well there’s a price to pay for everything right!

2. Web cam girl/guy

Always remember, forever on video, forever on the internet and nothing can stop it once its viral, it’s like a typhoon! Not to mention all the creepy old perverts making copies of whatever you’ve done during one of your sessions- Next up:- From college student to adult film star- make your mom proud!

3.  Phone Sex Operator

Trying to sound or feel sexy when you’re not really all that into it, is  tedious especially considering the fact that most of your so called ‘clientele’ are usually unattractive and lonely individuals.

4.  Sperm or Egg Donor

Seriously do you really want random progeny showing up at your door one day claiming that you as a parent all because over a ‘recent’ soul searching DNA test!

5. Medical Experiment

Ever wonder how he got that way? Now you can stop wondering how he got that way, you already know! It’s all thanks to science…Hope that $1000 to test the new and improved Viagra was worth it in the end!

6.  Selling Organs

Since you decided to sell one of your kidney in the black market in order to fund your textbooks for medical school, you’ll have to live with the consequences just in case you ever need another kidney in the future; -welcome to the hospital wait list you’re number 120000000 !

7.  Selling Essays and Term Papers Online

Going against the grain, helping plagiarism thrive on campus, as if it’s not a major issue already.  Kudos to morale right.

8.  Hospital Cleaner/ Disinfectant Worker

With diseases such as Swine Flu, TB, … you’re even worse off than the doctors or nurses, let’s just say you get to the bottom of things;- by cleaning bodily fluids, literally with every sweep or mop the chance of you catching whatever virus is lurking around leaps by 50%!

9.  Maid

Have you ever walked into the bedroom of a regular teenage boy’s bedroom…enough said.

10. 24 Hour Convenience Store Worker:

There’s a high chance that you might one day be held up, on the bright side, if you’re still  looking for fame but never found it? Well, you just might be a star one day…on Cops.

1. The Last Kiss

So what’s the use to date and plan a life with someone who will choose to stray inevitably when you just end up married, pregnant!  and you find out your husband is cheating on you with some girl he met at a wedding…All because she “gets me better than you do!”

2. Couples Retreat

So you’ve dated and finally got married, only to find out that your other half doesn’t arouse you anymore. You will have to constantly go over the moon to keep your relationship alive, because the pulse will expire one day! Here comes couple’s therapy.

3. Broken English

This movie opens up your eyes to the results of those who “date too often”. Serial dating will one day leave you alone,over 30 years old, working a job you hate, noticing all your single friends have dwindled to 0.05% as you finally get desperate to find someone special to laugh with & hold you–oh did I mention your parents will now be more willing than ever to help you “settle” and just get it over with. Serial daters you’ve been warned.

4. Vicky Christina Barcelona

What’s the use of dating and committing to one person, when you can usually find someone much more exciting than the one you’re with! Through this movie, you will sadly find out that relationships are about settling for second best,- that means somebody although financially and professionally secure, this individual will fail to excite you physically and psychologically in the least bit!

5. Alfie

Men will continue to be viewed as two faced and dishonest in their intentions through this movie. In short, women will always have a barrier as they now know that the majority of men continue to tell women what they want to hear, in order to sleep with them. Good luck to all the men with good and honorable intentions!

6. Closer

Even though you might enjoy watching this movie (with a stellar cast!), it depicts relationships as negative and conflicting. Even the most lovable, long term couples will at last be forced to question their upcoming years together, as they begin to see their future as conniving lovers caught up in the mean, bitter, nasty and cruel cycle of infidelity, lies and broken promises. Love isn’t all roses after all!

7.  Match Point

This movie is a great example that naivete exists in all of us. Sometimes even the man you love and think you know, is willing to do whatever it takes to maintain his higher place in society;- Even if it means choosing between your life and his… This movie further reinforces the fact that one should never believe “He’s going to leave her for me” chatter. Don’t get passion and priorities mixed up!

8. How to lose a Guy in 10 days

Any woman will sadly realize that they are going to lose a guy by constantly doing any of the things portrayed in the movie! – The surprise is, it may take you longer than 10 days, but it’s coming like a monsoon after an Indian summer!

9. He’s just Not that Into You

This movie will definitely encourage you to over analyze EVERYTHING in any relationship. -Finally after burnt, exhausted and frayed nerves, you’ll want to buy a warm duvet, just curl up on your couch and give up and stay home!

10. Basic Instinct

While in the dating jungle and trying to find “the one” you might just end up finding a psychotic killer who will murder you in the most hideous and gory way. The opening scene alone will leave you shaken and highly suspicious of anyone that dares ask “My place or yours?”

1. Service Station Attendants

Mean Annual Wage: $19,150

2. Fast Food Cook

Mean Annual Wage: $15,930

3. Dishwashers

Mean Annual Wage: $16,190

4. Dinning Room Attendant

Mean Annual Wage: $16,320

5. Restaurant Host/Hostess

Mean Annual Wage: $16,860

6. Coffee Shop Barista/Attendant

Mean Annual Wage: $16,950

7.  Gaming Dealers

Mean Annual Wage: $17,010

8. Cashier

Mean Annual Wage: $17,930

9.  Waiter/Waitress

Mean Annual Wage: $17,190

10. Ushers/Ticket Takers

Mean Annual Wage: $17,500

1. The Book of virtues: Bill Clinton

2. My Plan to Find the Real Killers: OJ Simpson

3. America’s Most Popular Lawyers

4. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors

5. Free Press Advancement in North Korea

6. Al Gore ” The Wild Years”

7. Everything Men Know About Women

8. French Hospitality

9. Amish Phone Directory

10. What I wouldn’t Do for Money: Dennis Rodman